(By Michael Tabone. Published November 1998)
20 years ago, or thereabouts, I fell in love with my stomach. Those where the days when 'The Arches' was experimenting with Chateaubriand and Hollandaise Sauce. Veal Cordon Bleau and Chateau Latour. 'The Arches' did well and many Maltese and visitors alike, flocked to Mellieha in search of good food. It was soon after the first fully booked answer from Mr Vella , that anyone who had a garage in the right area, a wife or husband who could fry an egg and enough guts to try and spell Steak Diane, that many Gastronomic disasters were born. Out went the car. The wife, the daughter and the cooker moved downstairs. A shirt and a bowtie and 'Voila' Malta's answer to 'La Tour d'Argent' was conceived in less than 5 minutes.
A few years later Pizza and Pasta Mania hit Malta. Paceville was about to take off and 'Ir-Rokna' brought over an Italian Pizzaiolo who started firing the ovens with wood. Those were great Pizzas and pretty soon the queues stretched to the corner of Wilga street. Many of those garage owners who by then had just learned the difference between Chateau Latour and Chateaubriand realised that Pizza was where the money was. A trip to the ironmonger. 3 buckets of paint, White, red and green. A picture of Poalo Rossi. 2 cases of Frascati. A few white T'shirts. A phone call to Forestals. A trip to Sicily and 'Ecco lo'. A new Pizzeria specialising in Penne al Salmone, Tortellini alla Panna and Pizza Capricciosa. All prepared by our specially trained Italian chef.
It was about 10 years ago that the restaurants in Malta turned fishy. Those were the days when places like Fisherman's Rest and Hunter's Towers started attracting big number of Maltese people in search of excellent fresh fish and value for money. In those days you could have helped yourself to a great buffet starter, ate the freshest fish straight off the fishing boat, drank a good Chablis and spent Lm 6-7 per head. It was not long after Mr. Dalli overbooked his restaurant, that anyone who had a garage in M'xlokk or M'scala applied for a restaurant licence. Fishermen started driving Mercedes. 'Spnott' (sea bass) and 'Awrat' (bream) took an early retirement, taking it easy, lazing around whilst artificial food is thrown at them. Whole Maltese families started talking about Chardonnay and Oysters, Spaghetti all Vongole and 'Capullazz'. Some of those Pizza places painted a lampuka on their front window, stuck a board outside saying fresh fish daily and put their prices up. Tinned mussel sales went down and Fresh Frozen became part of the Maltese language. The wine wars began and waiters smelling corks appeared for the first time.
It was around 5 years ago that Sumatra and Marco Polo had waiting lists for diners on Saturday. Ministers and important people learned how to pronounce Chow Mein and not to drink the water in the finger bowl. Soon after, large areas of Bugibba and Paceville turned red. Poalo Rossi went out and the cartwheels changed to lanterns. Gianni and Pippo went home to Sicily and Jimmy and Suzy learned how the Maltese people like their Crispy Peking Duck.. Over the years our 'restaurateurs' nearly got their tongues round many words and accents. 'Champignon' , 'Escargot', 'Aglio' , 'Olio' , 'Cappullazz' , 'Cerviol' , 'Merlot' and 'Gewurstraminer' became the language of the trade, but Chinese was a bit much to expect. Pretty soon we were expected to eat by numbers. I visited a Chinese restaurant recently. I was just about to tell the welcoming waitress good evening when she interrupted me and said 'for 2'. I replied 'yes'. 'Table 23' she said, pointing to a table by the window. The menu was extremely familiar, you know, black bean sauce, won ton soup etc. When the waitress returned to take our order I started saying that to start with, we would like a pl......' she stopped me there and asked me to order by numbers. The food was pretty bad and we had 08,11 and 13 to start with, 53 as middle course, and 59, 55 and 68 as main course accompanied by 98 washed down with 102 from the 1997 vintage. The bill came to Lm 21.00 and as I said we were on table 23.
I started writing this article this morning at about 9.00am. It is now 12.30 pm and for some reason or other I feel rather hungry!!! I have just phoned my friend Julian and he gave me his last remaining free table. His and another couple of restaurants are doing very well and I get a strange feeling that Jimmy and Suzy will soon be going home and that our garages will soon be changing colours . Red and white, perhaps? Claudia Roden is bound to sell a few more books and I have no doubt that I shall soon be writing about some restaurant or other that gave me soup when I ordered 'Kuskus' and 'Aljotta' when I ordered Bouillabaisse. Indecently spelt 'Filfil Mahshi' and gave me chop sticks to eat my 'Paella'. Or maybe not? We shall shall see.
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